Tasting Words

I have asked you to
taste my culinary skills,
a delicate pastry of verbiage
on a white plate.

Please do not
gulp my prose like a Big Mac!

This is a recipe of love
ingredients especially selected.

Here a pinch of verbs
there a bunch of organic nouns and

superior

adverbs.

Please take time to

Taste

and

Ponder.

Poetry is like fine wine
S w i s h
the words in your mouth.

Let the rich ness
p e n e t r a t e.

It is not a generic brand of two-bit soda
to gulp down
squeeze the can
and discard

This is my soul

the inner essence
of A L L that I am.

Could you not
chew
for a while
or
repeat a phrase
or
question my musings?

How can I ever let you go
deeper

into who I am?

When you do not even
penetrate the surface
I feel like an onion
encased in dry parchment.

You do not smell my essence.

You do not know how to
Peel back my layers,
without causing me to

squirt and splatter .

Strange
I am an onion
that produces tears
only within myself.

Maybe some cannot partake
they do not understand the concept of

“second helping”.

Their taste buds never developed,
I only give
heartburn and
Indigestion

but
I keep
hoping
offering

A little sip?

A little bite?

A morsel of my soul?

***

Written and copyright protected by Dawn 2009

A Friend gave me a short article that was a great encouragement. I want to share some of it with you. It is based on Hebrews 6:19 on the topic of HOPE. it states that" hope serves as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which entered into that within the veil. " Paul was a great teacher and leader in ancient times and went through a terrible hurricane at sea. He was in a ship that was sailing to regions along the coast of Asia. However the ships sails were not favored and the ship had difficulty arriving off Cnidus. Paul tried to warn them and said. "Men I perceive that the voyage will certainly be attended with damage and great loss, not only of the cargo and the ship, but also of our lives." But they ignored the warning. They wanted to try and reach Phoenix, a harbor of Crete facing northeast and Southeast, and spend the winter there. So when the wind picked up they took off thinking as long as they stayed close to the shore they would be safe. But then a violent wind, Called Euraquilo caught them. All the crew thought they were going to die, in fact it states in Acts 27:20 it states "All hope that we should be saved was then taken away". Just imagine for a moment. You are in that ship, it is dark, objects are flying over your head with each gigantic wave. You are drenched, cold and terrified. Then you hear the wood start to splinter and break. Suddenly you look overhead and you see the mask itself snap in two. You fellow sailors are reacting in bizarre ways. Some are sobbing on the deck while others grab onto any solid objects. Others are frantically throwing cargo overboard. Paul in utter inner stillness prays to God and their ship is lost but their lives are saved.

I guess that's how I feel about not only fighting cancer, but also the storms both physically and financialy in the USA and globally. We all need to find a place of utter stillness, until we see and feel and believe that our hope comes from another dimension. The God the Father, God The son and God the Holy Spirit will speak comfort to you. The Jewish community would say the God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob. The One God. The Quakers seem to have learned the most about praying. They do not sob, scream or cry out. They sit in utter stillness until their hearts, beating in terror and fear return to that place of stillness steady rhymn and hope. And so it is at our house. I close the curtains and shut the doors and take the phone off the hook. Then in that quiet place not only does HOPE overshadow cancer, it simply goes away. Hope became my focus, not empty cupboards, or unpaid bills or endless doctor appointments or people rushing to and fro.. HOPE becomes my life , my song, my all in all.

I pray for you to today, STOP, SLOW DOWN, Look for your place of rest and quiet, be still and know your God! He will come, and then and only then will your peace and joy be restored.
Trust me I know. Have a joyful day
Dawn :)

Snowflake

I'm back from my retreat and just wanted to share a picture of my new kitty, Snowflake, along with her sibling and cousin. Because I live on a busy street in town, Snowflake has taken up residence (quite happily) on my sister's farm in the country where she has free reign of all outdoors and part-time in an artist studio with Gracie Mae, my sister's kitty and her own sibling Wynter Wonder. Snowflake is on the painting table, Graciemae is sound asleep and Wynter Miss is peeking over her shoulder seeing what is going on behind her back.

Retreat Time

I am not a city girl! Going to doctors and hospitals every day can get waring on my nerves. So with their permission, I have gone to the woods for meditation, reflection and rest. God is my source, my Divine Healer, Comforter and Givers of Gifts, spending time alone with Him restores my soul and brings my mind back into His focus where I can once again see things from His point of view. I claim His promises of healing and restoration while I dabble my toes in the cool clear waters and nibble on wild berries, grapes and nuts. Dancing with my Father God in fields of grace.

God Is Faithful:

As I review the past weeks since my surgery on March 12th I have come to realize God is faithful to help me face each day. It seems like months instead of weeks. In some ways the days have merged into one big mountain to climb. For anyone attempting to make it to the top of "Mt Everest" to place a flag of completion and victory there are always challenges along the way. This climb in no exception. There are overhangs and sheer rock faces to slowly crawl up.

At first it was the pain. Trying to wear a seat belt in the car with a pillow tucked under it on my left side. The simple challenge of getting dressed.Their are rock slides of emotions, one day I am healed and never have to think of cancer again to the next where I monitor every little pain.

Perhaps the greatest challenge are simply all the decisions to make. I am still working through those. The list seems endless. They are divided into two peaks, one called alternative therapy and one called traditional. The traditional includes various types of radiation and many types of chemo drugs, then their is hormone therapy. The list of side affects are endless. On the other side the alternative therapy's go on and on. Some sound hopeful, others questionable. Often the research is still coming in.

My surgeon reminded me that I am "Captain of my own ship". I don't really like my new responsibilities. It was easier just to be a care taker and pour myself out to others and ignore my body. Now I must, research, think pray and make my own rudder move toward life and away from death. It seems I have a hard time to know which way the trade winds blow or how to navigate into a current flowing in the right direction. It seems I have split my friends right down the middle. One group cheers me on toward alternative medicine and the other toward traditional. I have always been a people pleaser. This time in my life I have people upset with me no matter what decisions I make.

So in this mountain maze I turn to God. He has been faithful. I have felt his presence in the middle of the night when the pain and questions will not let up. I have felt him in the touch and hugs and prayers of those around me.

In some ways it seems my life has changed forever. Now I must evaluate the state of my body, I find I want to live life in a richer fuller way and yet find my energy seldom catches up to my desires.

I was upset last week at some new challenges and was reminded by God that in a boxing match their is usually more than Round one. So next week I start round two and take more tests. I have adopted the suggested Vegan lifestyle that helps combat cancer and have lost twenty pounds, that feels good. These past several weeks I have kept my focus on getting the garden planted and digging on my Koi pound. As I close this entry I would ask for three prayer requests. One is for sleep, sweet consistent sleep. The next is for emotional steadiness. I have not been so easy to live with these past weeks. And finally for wisdom as I continue to be "the captain of my ship" and make wise choices about my care.

When the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak! That could be a summary of my week. Yesterday I spent five hours at the doctors and was upset that it used up all my energy for the day. I wanted to save some to chat with a friend, or write a poem, work in the garden or do some art work. So today I decided to have quiet day and see if I could build a little reserve energy. Next week I have three Doctor appointments, a bone density test, ecocardeogram, brain scan and Pet scan. YUCK!
So anyway I took a nap today and said "Holy Spirit I am here if you want to speak." I had a sweet half sleeping half waking dream about designing a stain class butterfly that was also a wind chime. I do believe the Holy Spirit just wanted the artist part of me to rest with him and enjoy the color. The butterfly was a beautiful orange and yellow and it not only had little chimes hanging from it but also colorful gems floating on the end of silken colored cords. He is so good to know just what I need!

Yesterday I spent the day at the hospital trying to collect records, fax records and do research. For what ever reason my energy level was very low yesterday. I felt I was walking through cement all day. I thought you would to read what Patty Wooten a Registered Nurse wrote in Jest For the Health of it.

Things you can learn from a dog:

*Never pass up the opportunity for a joy ride.
*Allow the experience of fresh air and wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
*When the loved ones come home, run to greet them.
*When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
*Take naps and stretch before rising.
*Romp and play daily.
*Eat with gusto
*Be loyal.
*Never pretend to be something you are not.
*If you want what lies buried, dig until you get it.
*When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
*Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
*Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
*On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree.
*When you're happy, dance around and wag your whole body.
*Bond with your pack.
Delight in the simple joys of a long walk.

Sunshine Yellow

This morning Oregon is just a wet sponge! Every thing is drippy, wet and cold. So I got up anyway and made my way to
Community center at 7:00 AM. I like Saturday mornings because I beat all the weekend sleepy heads. First I went to the whirlpool for a bit of warmth then on to do stair walking in the pool. The Doctor won't let me swim for two more weeks, so I decided that meant only from the waist up! Then I went to the work out room and did some "core work" on the big bright red and orange balls. The gentle stretches feel so good. I even tackled the NIA class which is all bounce and movement. The instructor is a tiny little thing with a big butterfly tattooed on her back. She wanted us to introduce ourselves with a name and color. So I said my name was a statement of faith my color was Sunshine Yellow!

Every one jumped, danced and flowed across the dance floor. I looked like a little hurt bird at the back of the room with one left wing broken and tucked up under my arm but I did not care, I just hung on the the ballet bar and swayed to the music anyway!

Pray for me next week, I have three Doctor appointments and a lot of decisions and modalities of treatment to think about. Love You All
Just "Me"

Earth Child

Free of spirit
Filled with Dreams
Earth Child wanders
Woodland streams

Bare of foot
On mossy bed
Half-moon glow
Upon her head

Guiding star
Sheds mellow light
As wisps of satin
Brush the night.

copyright 2003
Verlene Brooks